Australia is real... or is it?

Flag of "Australia" 

Wikimedia Commons 

Australia is the land that gave us the Hemsworth brothers, AC/DC, Steve Irwin and so much more. But according to some, all that is impossible because Australia doesn't even exist. How can that be? Who would just make up a continent, and why? And who are all these people who claim to be Australians anyway? All this and more, coming right up.

It seems that flat-earth believers were the first to claim that Australia is just a figment of the world's collective imagination. Of course, if the earth is flat, we can't expect people to live on the underside of it. But the theory really gained notoriety with a 2017 Facebook post by a Swedish woman named Shelley Floryd. She blames the Brits, who she claims made Australia up as a fake place for them to send their prisoners. A part of Australia was established as a British penal colony in the late 18th century, but Floryd says that instead of shipping the prisoners to another continent, the Brits just dumped them into the ocean as an execution.¹ Of course, the British weren't having much luck with some of their other colonies in the late 1700s, so who knows what they were thinking. 

A plane (allegedly) flying over Wangaratta, Victoria, Australia 

Wikimedia Commons 

According to Floryd, we still believe in Australia because everyone who knows the truth works tirelessly to cover it up. Anyone who says they are from Australia are either hired actors playing as pawns of the government, or they are essentially robots: "computer generated personas" as she calls them.¹

Not only that, but pilots are in on it too. She theorized that any flight bound for Australia just flies somewhere else and lands either on an island or in places in South America.¹ Then the actors jump into action and play their parts. Maybe that's why so many great Hollywood actors are "Australian." 

Also, the governments of the world are all in on the ploy, apparently because average citizens are not to be trusted with the truth. Not sure why every world government would be willing to help cover up Britain's dirty deeds, but who knows…

"Australia" - Allegedly

Wikimedia Commons

Objectively speaking, this theory is far-fetched simply because of the millions of people who would have to be in on it. From the officials in governments around the world, to all the pilots who say they fly there, to the millions of actors who are playing the part of Australia's populace, there are a lot of variables. It would take some serious bribe money and/or fear tactics to keep them all quiet.

Sydney Opera House - Sydney "Australia" 

Wikimedia Commons 

Floryd later deleted the post and claimed it was a joke from the beginning. However, over 20,000 people had already shared it.¹ While some of those shares were certainly from level-headed individuals who wanted to show their friends another great internet conspiracy, some people probably believed it. Even after her original denial, Floryd still posts from time to time about the non-existence of the world's sixth largest country.¹ Maybe she's just having fun, or maybe she really is on to something. If all these people really are in on the conspiracy, then it would be hard to prove it wrong. Just going there won't prove anything, since you will just be taken somewhere else and told it's Australia. Apparently, one would have to become a pilot or a high-up in the government to know the truth. Or, you could just trust Shelley Floryd and the flat-earthers.

There is some concrete proof that Australia is real, or at least its inhabitants are. According to the findings of a 2016 genetic study, Aboriginal Australians are the oldest living civilization on earth at about 75,000 years and counting.² In addition to their own stories and culture that document the past, archaeological sites across the continent showcase and preserve the Aboriginal peoples' rich history.²

It seems pretty evident that Australia exists, but considering that most everything that lives there can kill you, maybe we should hope that it doesn't. I just wouldn't bet on it. 

¹The Culture Trip - Some People Think Australia Doesn't Exist - Here's Why - Tom Smith 

https://theculturetrip.com/pacific/australia/articles/some-people-think-australia-doesnt-exist-heres-why/

²The Culture Trip - Australia is Home to the World's Oldest Surviving Civilization - Tom Smith https://theculturetrip.com/pacific/australia/articles/australia-is-home-to-the-worlds-oldest-surviving-civilisation/

The Queen's Secret

Queen Elizabeth II
Wikimedia Commons 

The queen of England is liked by people all over the world - many people here in America like her better than we like our own leaders. Would we like her the same if the rumors about her are true? What rumors, you ask? Oh, just the ones about her favorite... snacks. Rumor has it that the queen likes British cuisine in the most literal sense--that is, human flesh. That's right, some people think sweet, grandmotherly, 93-year-old Queen Elizabeth is a cannibal.

Before you get ready to behead anyone who would dare think such a thought about her, let's look at how this all got started. Hubert Humdinger, who is described as a "cultural philosopher," supposedly stated in 1973 that he believed Elizabeth stays so young and vibrant by eating human flesh, citing its "immense spiritual energy."¹ But this is not the only instance of Elizabeth being accused of cannibalism. The story goes that a serviceman at Windsor Castle was investigating an electrical issue when he checked the queen's personal freezer and got more than he bargained for. What greeted him were sections of limbs and other body parts. He allegedly brought the situation to the attention of law enforcement, but with the queen's immunity, nothing was done.²

Portrait of King Charles II of England
 c. 1685
Wikimedia Commons

This theory may seem like it's pretty far out there, but actually, there is evidence of human products being used for medicinal purposes from the Renaissance through the 18th century, especially among royals and elite members of society. King Charles II of England was reportedly a big fan. Called "corpse medicine," people would take elixirs containing human blood, ground bones and fat for healing all kinds of ailments. For this reason, graverobbing was common.³

Blood was especially thought to give strength to whoever drank it. Fair warning, this is gross, but apparently people would go to executions to collect blood. They would either mop up the blood that they could get from the ground, or sometimes the executioner would have an assistant to collect and sell the blood of whatever criminal they just beheaded. People were eager to get blood fresh from the body because it was said to retain more healing properties in that state.³ Yuck. That's enough of that.

Here is another fun fact. From what I can find, cannibalism is not technically illegal in the UK; one would be charged with another offense such as murder or disturbing the peace of the dead.⁴ Plus, since the queen enjoys sovereign immunity, even if she was eating people she would not be prosecuted for her crimes.

There is another small detail here that I have yet to mention. Elizabeth is said to have a taste for small children. Financial and event analyst Jim Willie has said he thinks the queen "is a child-killing Satanist."¹ He and others claim that several dozen school children disappear every time she visits Canada. Others have claimed to witness the queen kidnapping children from schools in England.¹ Would that really help her to stay youthful?

Queen Elizabeth II in 1959
© Library and Archives Canada

There is really only one issue with this theory, granted, it's a big one; there is no evidence for any of it. The missing children? I can't find a credible article that deals with any of these accusations. Going back to Hubert Humdinger, the man who started it all, there is no evidence of his life. There is evidence, however, that he was made up by a satire writer. But what about the smoking gun in this case, the serviceman who found the body parts in the freezer? This alleged serviceman remained anonymous and has never been named, which is a red flag in my book. Additionally, it appears that this story was made up by someone on the internet. The evidence, or lack thereof in this case, seems to speak for itself.

So, if Elizabeth isn't eating children to stay so vibrant and healthy, what's her secret? She is the queen, so she probably has no shortage of doctors at her disposal, as well as personal chefs and dieticians. While her position certainly brings stressors, being the queen is probably a fairly cushy job most of the time. With all the resources available to her, I doubt she would turn to medieval medicine to cure her headaches. But, if a rash of English children suddenly go missing, this case may require another look. Until then, I would bet that the queen is snacking on tea and biscuits, and nothing more.









¹ YouTube.com - Is the Queen of England a Cannibal? - Uncovered
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFPBijvBJFk 

² Dear Dirty America - Queen Elizabeth II Confirmed Cannibal 
http://deardirtyamerica.com/2012/06/queen-elizabeth-ii-confirmed-cannibal/

³ Smithsonian - The Gruesome History of Eating Corpses as Medicine
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-gruesome-history-of-eating-corpses-as-medicine-82360284/

⁴ The Guardian - Eating People is Wrong
https://www.theguardian.com/law/shortcuts/2015/dec/16/eating-people-is-wrong-but-is-it-against-the-law